Oh Boogers.

Alas, today has not been one of my best.  It's been full of minor frustrations and annoyances, just little signs of resistance in the universe against whatever I'm trying to do.

The mot recent little thing, which is still in the forefront of my mind, was watching some bidder on ebay go absolutely batshit over black aggie oval rounds, and bidding them sky-high.  That display was followed by a similar encounter with someone who is (apparently) willing to give up her firstborn child for 100 bronze-tone 15mm pinch bails.  I didn't find out how high she was willing to go.  I dropped out of the bidding after 5 consecutive attempts to catch up with her failed.  Jeez, lady! 
Have you ever seen someone go apeshit crazy on ebay before your very eyes?  It's a little scary.

And of COURSE there's a ginormous pile of dishes in the kitchen right now.  It looks like no one has bothered to wash up in a week.  But I did 2 loads yesterday evening.  That's how we roll in this house.  Sometimes I wonder how it would be if I lived alone.  I've never lived by myself, there have always been other people's dishes to factor in.  I look at the dishes covering every square inch of available counter space and wonder how many of them are mine.  Half?  A third?  Less? 

My mother has a lot of bizarre habits, and one of them is using far more dishes than seem necessary for a given meal.  It's always been a problem, but it's worse now that we're on the South Beach Diet and have to cook virtually everything that passes our lips.  No more grabbing a quick and easy snack.  Ever again.  It's a real pain in the you-know-what, but I've lost 20lbs without breaking a sweat, so it's worth it. 
I guess.

How come the week when I pigged out on birthday cake, I didn't gain any weight, but 2 weeks later, while I was following the diet strictly, I gained almost 5lbs back?  What's up with that?  Seriously.

Today was also a bit strange because, as I tried to sleep, S called me 5 times.  He never calls me during the work day.  Well, almost never.  I thought there was some big emergency, so I finally clambered out of my deep sleep to see what was up.  "Sorry.  I'm just bored at work today." he said, unenthusiastically.  So now I am stuck being conscious for a while.  And for some reason I have "O Come All Ye Faithful" repeating mercilessly in my head, about as far you can get from Christmastime in either direction of linear time.

There are so many reasons to freak out right now.  So many reasons to be completely stressed and overwhelmed.  But the bigger things are too scary to think about, so I will stick to the small, petty annoyances of day-to-day living.  I would definitely have a nervous breakdown if it weren't for my fur-children.  I find myself on the verge of a panic attack, and then I see a sleepy kitty, and feel so much better.  They are a soothing balm for ALL the senses.  Their soft fur, their calming purrs, their adorable faces, their warm bodies... they even smell good.  No wonder they're the #1 pet in the world.  It's like they were designed specifically for the job!  But though they buoy my spirits high enough to keep me from total despair, I still have problems.  Like being dirty, and not able to find clean towels.  Yes.  One more example f how my life is a freaking mess. 

I'm also terrified about all the money I invested spent on art supplies recently.  I really, really, really don't want what I make to sit around in my shop for 2 years like the other stuff has.  I got permanently banned from Etsy because I spoke up about their inequitable policies and maltreatment of sellers, and I hate them and wouldn't spend another penny on their site, but I was making more sales there, as much as it sizzles my bacon to say so.  But it's because so many people think Etsy is the only place to buy cool handmade stuff, and I suck at promotion!  I have been working on a plan for my big "come-back" but a lot of it seems out of my hands.  The last year has been discouraging to say the least.  I realize from past experience that determination and hard work alone will not guarantee that I make any bloody sales in my shop.  I've flushed thousands of dollars down the crapper trying to make something that actually sells.  Nada.  Nothin' but crickets.  My family knows this.  They are not happy about how I spent my birthday money.  I feel like an ass.

I need a workspace!  I need to get S to change the light bulb in my photography lamp!  (A task requiring technical know-how and latex gloves!)  I need to get my supplies and shipping area organized and ready to rock n' roll again!  I lost my motivation after Christmas.  But now I have a lot of good reasons to put my back into it.  Too bad it also happens to be during a time when I have a million other things that need to be done.  AGH FML!!